Letter to Santa

Yo, big Santa! How’s it going up there at the extraordinary white north pole? Seeing as it tis’ the season, here is my letter about what I need for Christmas this year.

First off, I’ve Been Good!

Santa Clause, I realize you do that entire great versus terrible thing. I guarantee I’ve been a decent web advertiser this year. I haven’t spammed the web indexes with mirror websites, no link farming buys or any little tweaks to your buddies from Google. And so, while I’ve been really good, I might want a couple of terrible things for Christmas. No little ponies here, I just need the really good stuff.

Dear Santa, I need:

  • A chunk of coal to be given to the awful individual or people at Yahoo who’ve been erasing my pages from their internet index results.
  • A chunk of coal to similar individuals at Yahoo who thought of the Site Match junk. Don’t hesitate to give the reindeer a chance to ease themselves while on the tops of these peoples’ houses.
  • To meet an individual from Google who handles the positioning updates in a bar late around evening time after they’ve been drinking for say two or three hours. I just need 15 minutes with him. Pleeeeasssee! I’ve been so very, very good.
  • Two minutes in the Ultimate Fighting Octagon with that Zuckerberg fellow.
  • A couple of hours with your rundown of awful individuals who will be getting coal for this special season. Try not to stress, I can make sense of which ones are deceitfully clicking on my PPC promotions.
  • It would be ideal if you send the Santa Infection (virus) to the individuals who continue sending me the phishing Pay Pal messages in my email.
  • Same thing for the terrible young men and young ladies sending me all that pharmaceutical spam.
  • The chance to beat each DMOZ volunteer editorial manager over the head with my computer console just once. OK, perhaps twice.

I understand you are an ace at being pragmatic. But, at the point when I visited you at the shopping center, you acted like I was neurotic and you didn’t have a clue what I was trying to discuss with you. I truly didn’t welcome you calling security and the FBI, however, I surmise everyone has an awful day. I’m certain I can depend on you to help me with this Holiday season.

OH, I almost overlooked something. Angelina Jolie. Unquestionably Angelina Jolie. But leave her little goofball beau at home.

This hasn’t been a lot to ask, is it? Well, is it?


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